Growth

 

Today I made a phone call to a NEW psychiatrist... Why would I do this when I have been with my current since I was 12? Well, I feel as if in order to grow It's time for a second opinion on my Journey/Medication... I'm also looking for a new therapist as well. THE STRESS no dislike towards my current Dr.'s at all It's just I have seen them since I was a kid... Yes, they know EVERYTHING but I feel they have done all they can do for my journey in Mental Health... I couldn't be more grateful for having them both when my world was falling apart ages 12 - 21 was rough and they never gave up on me and did everything to help me through the roughest times of my life. But it's time for new eyes to peek into my life and possibly guide me further through my Mental Illness... A Second Opinion on Medications along with my diagnosis (I am for SURE Bipolar type 2) But maybe I need more help with depression and my Bipolar mania which is ok! I'm ok with this change. This will help me grow and mature more within My Mental Health and be able to handle things a bit easier... Same with a new Therapist new eyes peeking in might have some advice on my mania and how to control things as well as concur the things I want to do like YouTube, My Blog, Streaming... Helping me get that confidence and defeat my anxiety to do what I've been dreaming of... Being a Positive Mental Health Role Model / Influencer and just make people smile and let everyone you are NOT ALONE. Another big thing I am doing is reading about Buddism reason why!? I need to learn to let the past go (New Therapist can help as well) My anger I hold in my heart from things that no longer matter is just silly so I'm also helping myself grow by working on my happiness... In my heart, I'm happy-go-lucky and care about EVERYONE... It's gotten me hurt before BUT! while Growing I know some people are toxic and will not be people I need in my future and will hold me back from growing as I need. So here I am I'm excited about this growth this change it's time... At 26 years of age, It's now or never.

Now I am going to be making an appointment for this psychiatrist to see if we work well together so I will update soon! But I shall not give up! New Therapist update soon aswell! 

Thank you for reading!

Have a wonderful Day/Night

- Sarah 

Mental Health Warrior

 

Mental Health Warrior

I've been fighting since pretty much I was born... Childhood Bipolar isn't the easiest or most fun...

I was fighting everything and everyone... In my mind, everything and everyone was against me...

I was angry, scared, confused & not properly medicated yet... Sleep was weak still is I'm exhausted to this very day... But I keep fighting. People say things about my hopes & dreams... That I'll fail because I'm MENTAL, PSYCHO, A LOSER... Clearly, these are coming from toxic people who themselves have nothing going for them so they take it out on others who are trying and maybe even succeeding. Now that I've succeeded through toxic angry teen years and am now 26... I can say I've learned a lot.

Always speak up when you feel Depression/Suicidal Thoughts coming on... Speak to your doctor about your medication so that if something isn't working you can get something that does. I realized when I finally spoke up things got done and I got better and felt better. Warrior I am, Struggle I have... Succeed I WILL. One of the strongest things I've ever done is keep fighting when I wanted to die... I've had so many toxic people/exes/ex-friends/ even family who don't wish me well try to tear me down degrade me say I won't succeed at these things I'm putting my heart into... Just watch YouTube/Blog/Twitch/Etsy Here I come Positive Influencer / Mental Health Advocate / Mental Health Warrior... 

I am stronger than you could possibly ever imagine.

I am Never Giving Up.

Thank you.

- Sarah

Transformation

I'm making big changes in my life that can help me get by as an adult... First off dealing with Bipolar Type 2, Anxiety, & Depression isn't the easiest no diagnosis really is honestly. Sadly regular jobs just don't work for me I've tried I'm a good worker I follow rules but than Anxiety attacks and I end up "failing" in my mind when nothing has even happened. Making a big changes is scary I hate it I get freaked out but it needs to be done! Job wise I'm taking on the internet YouTube! I usually over think than take down my videos... NOT this time. Along with blogging i overthink than hate it... NOT ANYMORE. I need to just do it and have fun with it express myself. Along with a job I need to kick my depressions a** it's taking me away from my child... Negative thoughts and energy about myself I don't want near her so I stay away depressed crying in my room. Now how on earth can I get this all done if I let this crap get to me... Medications are coming well new ones trying something different to help me succeed at my Dreams being an Influencer & Mental Health Advocate would be amazing... I just want to help people... BUT I need to help myself first. Losing weight and exercise... I busted my knee so I need to figure that out first... I love healthy food & working out so that's not a problem its I get in my own head and I tell myself I failed when I haven't even started. So kicking the nay saying thoughts aside I CAN DO THIS. I also want to take my little one on hikes and camping plus the beach with my amazing Boyfriend... I can't do that if I'm in a rut feeling horrible I do not want to go anywhere when I feel this way. I refuse to let my Mental Illness Kill me or ruin my relationships... I have so much good going on I just gotta stand up and go for it!

Which I am this Queen needs a Glow Up... Lose weight, Grow out hair, Learn skin care & how to do nice makeup, new wardrobe, New Attitude, New View on life. New ME.

I just need to always remember to believe in myself.

I got this.

Thank you for reading

Have a wonderful Night/Day

- Sarah